Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts, uncritically, to those who hardly think about us in return.

It seems like every guy I really like just watches me fall to the ground. He doesn’t catch me. But they seem to pick me back up somehow and keep me around. Maybe guy best friends aren’t a good choice for me.

Why do we fall for the people that forget to love us back?

I had to give the “it will be ok, you’ll find someone to be with” speech tonight. I give in often to friends & I always mean it because I have amazing friends that will find someone that truly sees them for who they are. But it is like nails on a chalkboard when you have to give it to someone you want to be with. I mean really, just stab me. It would be easier, quicker and less painful. It always gives me the urge to be super pathetic and scream (or type in this case) “ME!” But like I said…that is pathetic since he has given the “I don’t like you in that way, we are just friends, I’m sorry, blah-blah-blah” speech more than once. I wasn’t in the mood to really pour my heart into the speech tonight. He started to argue and I told him I didn’t know what else to say besides that he will find someone. He got that I was not in the mood to talk about such feelings as love/ like, etc. I despise them at the moment.

But…it happens. And I’m not giving up on love, liking someone, and such feelings. I’m just on strike until further notice.

((Ash))